#Trust30 online initiative - a 30-day writing challenge - Part 19 - Facing (and Fearing)

Facing (and Fearing) by Dan Andrews

Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:
1) “What are the costs of inaction?” I find it can be helpful to fight fear with fear. Fears of acting are easily and immediately articulated by our “lizard brains” (thanks Seth) e.g. what if I fail? what if I look stupid? If you systematically and clearly list the main costs of inaction, they will generally overshadow your immediate fears.
2) “What kind of person do I want to be?” I’ve found this question to be extremely useful. I admire people who act bravely and decisively. I know the only way to join their ranks is to face decisions that scare me. By seeing my actions as a path to becoming something I admire, I am more likely to act and make the tough calls.
3) “In the event of failure, could I generate an alterative positive outcome?” Imagine yourself failing to an extreme. What could you learn or do in that situation to make it a positive experience? We are generally so committed to the results we seek at the outset of a task or project that we forget about all the incredible value and experience that comes from engaging the world proactively, learning, and improving our circumstances as we go along.
(Author: Dan Andrews)


Facing (and Fearing) by Andrew Cairns

Without referring to any particular personal example, here are my thoughts on this...

1. Unless you live some kind of nomadic / marginal existence, then you will at some point in your life find yourself in some sedentary situation where you will fear or be adverse to change. That is perfectly normal - "lizard brain", "defense mechanism"... call it whatever you like; change means the unknown which may be better or worse than the status quo. Change also means some effort on your part, in return for some hoped for result; unless the result is 100% guaranteed, you are risking doing something for no reward. As to weighing the costs of inaction versus the fears of action, that can often be subjective (pros and cons are all very well, but again are subject to what weight or importance you put onto each pro / con). Nevertheless in some situations change is not only a good idea, but a necessity (to avoid catastrophe - the status quo is obviously untenable).

2. If you "scorn eyes / appearances", take away any narcissism and believe in God, then the only answer to that question can be a person who submits to the will of God, who does his best to do good in all circumstances. Actions should be more a path which will lead you to what is good for you (your well-being, religion and spirituality) and for others; and less a path leading to some objective of becoming an ideal person or someone to be admired.

3. In the event of failure / worst case scenario, there are usually positive aspects to be taken away; if not a positive alternative outcome, then at least experience gained by your efforts, the increased strength developped (in the face of adversity) and the humility to admit that you cannot control everything and that God has guided you to another outcome / path (than that which you planned, for a reason). The Arabic term "Insha'Allah" (God willing) is used by Muslims to qualify any future plans or when talking about future events to ask God's blessing on the task and to acknowledge submission to God (that the task will only succeed by the will of God). See Sura Al-Kahf (18):23-24 (The Cave) - English translation :
   ²³ Nor say of anything, "I shall be sure to do so and so tomorrow"
   ²⁴ Without adding, "So please Allah." and call thy Lord to mind when thou forgettest, and say, "I hope that my Lord will guide me ever closer (even) than this to the right road."
Interestingly this can be compared to a passage in the Bible, James 4:13-15 (English Standard Version) :
   ¹³Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"—
  ¹⁴yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. ¹⁵Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."